stage fright
i was just going through my blog from almost 2 years ago and found an unanswered sex question from 2005! for shame. i know its been a long time and hopefully this person has already dealt with this issue long ago, but here goes..
dear anonymous,
this is a common enough problem involving putting too much pressure on yourself and thinking too much about "the proble," thus reinforcing the same problem. you think to yourself "ok, keep the erection, keep the erection!" and so the erection fails. it may be that youre a bit of a rebel, and you never want to do what you are "supposed" to... so trying to force an erection is never going to work.
my advice is to just ignore the thing. kiss, make out, do all the fun things. focus on her. if you dont have an erection yet dont worry about it, just keep making out. let it stay in the very bad of your mind and try not to let the thoughts about it take over. if you feel them coming into your mind, start focusing on her soft skin, her hair, her breasts, eyes, whatever. get out of your mind and get into your body. this should help you to truly relax and let yourself be in the experience without focusing too much on whether or not you are going to be "successful." remember, your penis knows what to do. dont try to control it, just let it be, and it will be a happy guy!
relax. remember that when you are alone at home, you are relaxed, and thats when it works. try to recreate that home feeling of comfort and safety. light candles, favorite music, etc. but most of all, stop putting pressure on yourself, because that will definitely not work! its always hard to feel safe and relaxed with a new romantic partner, as well, so maybe when you find yourself in a "relationship," one where you feel comfortable and accepted, this will not occur anymore. in the meantime, just focus on the beautiful woman you have with you, and if that doesnt work, you can always please her in other ways ;)
~ tls
Anonymous said...
Dear L.S.
My erection works just fine when I'm alone but not so much when I have company. And then you're in the crunch and you just want sooo badly for the damn thing to work but it just doesn't and it's just useless. Then you're a man attached to a failed erection right in front of a woman who was kind enough to want to see it in the first place.
Any advice?
dear anonymous,
this is a common enough problem involving putting too much pressure on yourself and thinking too much about "the proble," thus reinforcing the same problem. you think to yourself "ok, keep the erection, keep the erection!" and so the erection fails. it may be that youre a bit of a rebel, and you never want to do what you are "supposed" to... so trying to force an erection is never going to work.
my advice is to just ignore the thing. kiss, make out, do all the fun things. focus on her. if you dont have an erection yet dont worry about it, just keep making out. let it stay in the very bad of your mind and try not to let the thoughts about it take over. if you feel them coming into your mind, start focusing on her soft skin, her hair, her breasts, eyes, whatever. get out of your mind and get into your body. this should help you to truly relax and let yourself be in the experience without focusing too much on whether or not you are going to be "successful." remember, your penis knows what to do. dont try to control it, just let it be, and it will be a happy guy!
relax. remember that when you are alone at home, you are relaxed, and thats when it works. try to recreate that home feeling of comfort and safety. light candles, favorite music, etc. but most of all, stop putting pressure on yourself, because that will definitely not work! its always hard to feel safe and relaxed with a new romantic partner, as well, so maybe when you find yourself in a "relationship," one where you feel comfortable and accepted, this will not occur anymore. in the meantime, just focus on the beautiful woman you have with you, and if that doesnt work, you can always please her in other ways ;)
~ tls
posted by lia at 7:50 AM
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